I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Randomize
