you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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