I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
