I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
