If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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