do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize