We're facebook friends in real life
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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