Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"

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(210): View more from Texas

In America we eat man semen.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.

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(512): View more from Texas

he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before

(806): View more from Texas

he probably also told you he thought u were pretty

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(415): View more from California

He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished

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(609): View more from New Jersey

She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.

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(607): View more from New York

Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.

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