After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
