Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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