Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
