will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
