well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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