You're so nebulous sometimes
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Four minutes until I can fart!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My life is pants optional.
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