The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
