toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Randomize