Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize