Swine flu. Run for my life!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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