shes about as inviting as chlamydia
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
