How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
