Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
