No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
