I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
