so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
