I can tuck mytits in my pants
I met the friendliest cop last night
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
