dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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