it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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