Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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