I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Someone shit on the floor
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
