hell yes lets make some ravioli
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
