This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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