No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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