o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
