So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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