ugly people sure do ruin things
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize