Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I deserve this hangover.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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