He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
