My nipple is on Facebook.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
