Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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