Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
