I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
