are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
