i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
