You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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