we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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