When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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