I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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