HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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