She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
