When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
