I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
