so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
