how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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