After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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