I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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