what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
