I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
