I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
