I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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