what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize