If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
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