Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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