I puked a lego.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
