This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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