So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
